Get ready with the tools you need
for your child's first questions
about adoption
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Do you worry about questions your young child might ask?
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Does coming up with answers they can understand feel daunting?
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Do you wonder if it's possible to answer honestly without hurting them?
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Are you uncertain about the right timing for these conversations?
Inquisitive Minds is the workshop
that gets you ready!
Designed for adoptive parents
of 3- to 6-year olds
Because your child will have great questions...
and likely earlier than you expect.
Young children don't think like adults do. So explanations that make sense to you might not be the best fit for them.
You want to have honest, kid-sized answers.
Inquisitive Minds shows you how to address what they really want to know at this age.
You will be ready to guide them and
learn from them at the same time.
If thinking about this puts a knot in your stomach,
you are not alone!
I've been there:
One day I was pushing my 3-year-old, Katie, in her stroller.
Out of the blue she said:
"Mommy, remember when I was in your tummy?"
I was lucky to be behind her while she was looking straight ahead.
She didn't see my mouth fall open and my eyes grow wide!
What went through my mind as I thought of the tummy conversation ahead was:
"This is going to break her heart".
As a child psychologist I knew that young children ask direct questions to let us know what they need. Her question needed to be answered.
But as a mom I wasn't ready for this one from my three-year-old on that day.
Maybe you've been taken by surprise
that way ...
or wonder when you will be.
It's one thing to introduce the word "adoption" to a child. It's another thing to field their questions as curiosity kicks in.
Answering those early questions well is one of the most important jobs adoptive parents have.
So I didn't answer it in that moment. I needed a little time to feel ready. At the first settled opportunity to talk as a family, we went back to Katie's question...
Here's what happened next:
My dread turned into relief ...
The talk was honest and emotional, but not at all heartbreaking.
She had a few great questions and
we came up with honest, kid-sized answers that satisfied her.
To our surprise the fact that Katie was so young made it easier rather than harder.
... followed by amazement.
Katie's creativity kicked in. She became the director of two scenes she wanted to recreate from the story of her life.
As we improvised together it was clear she understood our answers.
As we followed her lead, it turned into one of the most important conversations our family has ever had.
It strengthened our connection in ways I never expected.
That first conversation inspired
the Inquisitive Minds workshop.
I watched Katie begin building her own story in her own way that day.
She continued adding to that story at her own pace from there.
Kids build that way when their parents have the knowledge and confidence to help.
But parents don't always notice that their child is building.
- Sometimes they miss it because they don't expect it to start so young.
- Sometimes they miss it because it scares them.
Watching your child build a life story and
an identity is fascinating and reassuring.
Knowing how to join in is even better.
I want you to discover the potential of these early talks.
So you recognize the invitations
your child offers you.
Since 1995 parents in my workshops have been replacing uncertainty and nervousness with a better understanding of their child's inquisitive mind.
They come away with the
perspective and confidence to be
their child's best resource.
"Before the workshop, I felt pressured to have conversations with my son based on a predetermined timeline. I felt we were behind... and that I was doing a bad job helping him to know his story.
After the workshop, I felt calmer and better able to trust my own instincts on when and what to talk about. I feel better able to really listen to what he is asking and to answer based on that.
We’re on our own timeline based on his understanding and whatever information he is seeking."
-- Laura M.
The Inquisitive Minds workshop gives you:
Brief lessons
in early child development and findings from adoption research.
Not a lecture 🥱, just enough for you to understand:
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how young children learn
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how communicating about adoption promotes healthy adjustment.
Practice at finding your own words
Interactive activities make listening to children and answering what they ask, productive, lively and fun.
This practice is as spontaneous & whimsical as young children are.
Connection to other parents
Inquisitive Minds brings parents together for
live conversations. You learn as a group, from one another, and from me.
Each group has the opportunity to stay connected after the workshop.
Answers to your questions
Have a question in between sessions? Or a complex situation? Q&A calls spaced across the workshop give you a chance to get my thoughts and benefit from those of others on the call.
When you feel prepared,
your kids feel more secure about the information you are ready to share.
Build a healthy understanding
of adoption -- as a family --
at the pace and in the learning style
that fits your child.
"Your workshop ... was wonderful. Just the other night I had a very intense and meaningful conversation with [my son]. I felt much better prepared having taken your workshop."
-- Sally H.
